576 jokes found

Joke
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
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I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
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Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!"
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This furniture store keeps emailing me, all I wanted was one night stand!
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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?  Look for fresh prints.
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I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
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Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
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If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you!
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What kind of music do mummy's like? Rap
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What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
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A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame.
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What did the dog say to the two trees? Bark bark.
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!
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Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
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What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
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Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it's bound to squeal.
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Why are mummys scared of vacation? They're afraid to unwind.
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Whiteboards ... are remarkable.
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What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep? A stega-snore-us.
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