576 jokes found
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When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. |
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I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time. |
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Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say "Bach bach bach!" |
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This furniture store keeps emailing me, all I wanted was one night stand! |
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How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh prints. |
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I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it. |
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Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Dunno, they're just a bit shady. |
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If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you! |
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What kind of music do mummy's like? Rap |
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What's large, grey, and doesn't matter? An irrelephant. |
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A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame. |
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What did the dog say to the two trees? Bark bark. |
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? |
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Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot! |
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Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap. |
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What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff. |
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Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it's bound to squeal. |
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Why are mummys scared of vacation? They're afraid to unwind. |
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Whiteboards ... are remarkable. |
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What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep? A stega-snore-us. |
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