What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

I went to a Foo Fighters Concert once... It was Everlong...

Why did the sentence fail the driving test? It never came to a full stop.

Some people eat light bulbs. They say it's a nice light snack.

What's the difference between a rooster and a crow? A rooster can crow but a crow cannot rooster.

I went to the store to pick up eight cans of sprite... when I got home I realized I'd only picked seven up

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

When people are sad, I sometimes let them colour in my tattoos. Sometimes all they need is a shoulder to crayon.

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a pineapple? A porky pine

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars

Why did the banana go to the doctor? He was not "peeling" well.

My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night. He was caught in a trap..

Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.

Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate. 

A girl once asked me what my heart desired, apparently blood, oxygen and neural messages were all wrong answers

Why is it always hot in the corner of a room? Because a corner is 90 degrees.

What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you.