744 jokes found

Joke
I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
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What did one nut say as he chased another nut?  I'm a cashew!
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Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank
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I accidentally took my cats meds last night. Don’t ask meow.
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Chances are if you' ve seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
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Dermatologists are always in a hurry. They spend all day making rash decisions. 
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I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
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I won an argument with a weather forecaster once. His logic was cloudy...
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How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left.
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"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
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Why was it called the dark ages? Because of all the knights. 
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A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
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Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
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Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
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I'll tell you what often gets over looked... garden fences.
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Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
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Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
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