380 jokes found

Joke
I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.
Permalink
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Permalink
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
Permalink
I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
Permalink
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
Permalink
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Permalink
Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.
Permalink
I'll tell you what often gets over looked... garden fences.
Permalink
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
Permalink
What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?  I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand...
Permalink
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
Permalink
Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace.
Permalink
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.
Permalink
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop signing "I'm A Believer"... Then I saw her face.
Permalink
What do you call two barracuda fish?  A Pairacuda!
Permalink
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
Permalink
What do you do on a remote island? Try and find the TV island it belongs to.
Permalink
Did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic.
Permalink
Dad I’m hungry’ … ‘Hi hungry I’m dad
Permalink
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a no bell prize.
Permalink