650 jokes found

Joke
Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
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What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
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Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.  That’s just how I roll.
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Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for sore eyes.
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How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian
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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
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Why was the robot angry? Because someone kept pressing his buttons!
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Which is the fastest growing city in the world? Dublin'
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A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
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What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.
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I went to a Foo Fighters Concert once... It was Everlong...
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Some people eat light bulbs. They say it's a nice light snack.
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I went to the store to pick up eight cans of sprite... when I got home I realized I'd only picked seven up
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I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
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Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
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What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars
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My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night. He was caught in a trap..
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Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.
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Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate. 
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