576 jokes found

Joke
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian
Permalink
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
Permalink
Which is the fastest growing city in the world? Dublin'
Permalink
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
Permalink
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.
Permalink
I went to a Foo Fighters Concert once... It was Everlong...
Permalink
Some people eat light bulbs. They say it's a nice light snack.
Permalink
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
Permalink
What do you get hanging from Apple trees? Sore arms.
Permalink
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
Permalink
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Permalink
What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars
Permalink
My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night. He was caught in a trap..
Permalink
Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.
Permalink
Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate. 
Permalink
What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you.
Permalink
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch.
Permalink
What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I’ll ketch up
Permalink
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Permalink
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
Permalink