530 jokes found

Joke
Some people eat light bulbs. They say it's a nice light snack.
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I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
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What do you get hanging from Apple trees? Sore arms.
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Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
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I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
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What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented? Lil Caesars
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My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night. He was caught in a trap..
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Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.
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What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you.
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How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? You use a pumpkin patch.
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What did the late tomato say to the early tomato? I’ll ketch up
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I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
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I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
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I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
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This furniture store keeps emailing me, all I wanted was one night stand!
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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?  Look for fresh prints.
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I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
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Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
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If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you!
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A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame.
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