530 jokes found

Joke
I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts.
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What did one nut say as he chased another nut?  I'm a cashew!
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I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
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How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left.
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A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
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Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
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Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
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I'll tell you what often gets over looked... garden fences.
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Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
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Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
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What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?  I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand...
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My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
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To be Frank, I'd have to change my name.
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Slept like a log last night … woke up in the fireplace.
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Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.
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I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop signing "I'm A Believer"... Then I saw her face.
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What do you call two barracuda fish?  A Pairacuda!
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