536 jokes found

Joke
What do you call corn that joins the army? Kernel.
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‘Put the cat out’ … ‘I didn’t realize it was on fire
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, “man, it’s really hot in here”. The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, “WHOA, a talking muffin!”
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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
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Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads “Small medium at large.”
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Just read a few facts about frogs. They were ribbiting.
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Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
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They tried to make a diamond shaped like a duck. It quacked under the pressure.
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Where’s the bin? Dad: I haven’t been anywhere!
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Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.
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What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep? A bah-humbug.
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What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?
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Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler? A poutine.
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A magician was driving down the street and then he turned into a driveway.
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Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.
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If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
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Where do bees go to the bathroom?  The BP station.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
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Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? Because they might peel!
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