Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Guilty

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie? Because it was rated arrr!

It was so cold yesterday my computer froze. My own fault though, I left too many windows open.

Man, I really love my furniture... me and my recliner go way back.

What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed? "Don't look I'm changing!"

My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.

Why did the man run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.  That’s just how I roll.

I once lost a banana at court but then I appealed. 

Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for sore eyes.

How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

What do you call two guys hanging out by your window? Kurt & Rod.

Why was the robot angry? Because someone kept pressing his buttons!

Which is the fastest growing city in the world? Dublin'

A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.

What do you call a snake who builds houses? A boa constructor!