650 jokes found

Joke
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered beef?
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My sea sickness comes in waves.
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For Valentine's day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.  It's the little things that count.
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What's the worst thing about ancient history class? The teachers tend to Babylon.
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My new thesaurus is terrible. In fact, it's so bad, I'd say it's terrible.
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What type of music do balloons hate? Pop music!
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Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
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How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning? He was a good conductor.
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Camping is intense.
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Dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words. Be positive.
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I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
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How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
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Why didn’t the orange win the race? It ran out of juice.
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Did you hear about the runner who was criticized? He just took it in stride
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What animal is always at a game of cricket? A bat.
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Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? 
Because he was a little horse!
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I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...the sails are going through the roof
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If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks--it cost me an arm and a leg!
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What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
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I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
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