People who don't eat gluten are really going against the grain.

Sore throats are a pain in the neck!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents.

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?
An ion! 

I think circles are pointless.

What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool Ranch!

A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a glass of vodka but the bar tender says, “sorry we don’t serve spirits”

You know what they say about cliffhangers...

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath!

Someone asked me, what's the ninth letter of the alphabet? It was a complete guess, but I was right.

Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.

I couldn't get a reservation at the library. They were completely booked.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? I don't think they'll fit me.

How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive West.

What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto

I tried taking some high resolution photos of local farmland, but they all turned out a bit grainy.