The word queue is ironic. It's just q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour.

What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.

Where do rabbits go after they get married? On a bunny-moon.

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?"

I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things.

A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies “sorry mate we only do plain”

It's been months since I bought the book "how to scam people online". It still hasn't turned up.

Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Cause you shouldn't press your luck.

I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn!

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink. Now I’m in hospital, waiting to be seen.

Why does Waldo only wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.

My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight. That would cause mass confusion.

An apple a day keeps the bullies away. If you throw it hard enough.