744 jokes found

Joke
"I'm sorry." "Hi sorry, I'm dad"
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What is the hardest part about sky diving? The ground.
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Why did the cowboy have a weiner dog? Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.
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My friend keeps telling me "Cheer up. You aren't stuck in a deep hole in the ground, filled with water."
I know he means well.
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Who did the wizard marry? His ghoul-friend
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How many seconds are in a year?
12.
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
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Ever wondered why bees hum? It's because they don't know the words.
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How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? 1 or 2? 1... or 2?
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There's not really any training for garbagemen. They just pick things up as they go.
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Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.
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I was shocked when I was diagnosed as colorblind... It came out of the purple.
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How come the stadium got hot after the game? Because all of the fans left.
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Where does astronauts hangout after work? At the spacebar.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
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I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Hans free.
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What do you call your friend who stands in a hole? Phil.
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A doll was recently found dead in a rice paddy. It's the only known instance of a nick nack paddy wack.
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How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You will see one later and one in a while.
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What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
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