530 jokes found

Joke
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
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I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
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I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
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Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!
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Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing? Just in case you get a hole in one.
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I wish I could clean mirrors for a living. It's just something I can see myself doing.
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How do the trees get on the internet? They log on.
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To the guy who invented zero... thanks for nothing.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
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What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
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*Reversing the car* "Ah, this takes me back"
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Doctor you've got to help me, I'm addicted to Twitter. Doctor: I don't follow you.
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How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
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A butcher accidentally backed into his meat grinder and got a little behind in his work that day.
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Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans.
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Two guys walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
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I really want to buy one of those supermarket checkout dividers, but the cashier keeps putting it back.
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A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey." The horse says "Sure."
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