Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

"Dad, I'm hungry." Hello, Hungry. I'm Dad.

I'm practicing for a bug-eating contest and I've got butterflies in my stomach.

I have the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep? Matt.

I met this girl on a dating site and, I don't know, we just clicked.

What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me.

What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones? Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?  They're making headlines!