What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

What do you do when your bunny gets wet? You get your hare dryer.

Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet? But most just have 4.

There are two types of people in this world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...

Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders? To hold his pants up.

In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy.

I wanted to be a tailor but I didn't suit the job

What do you call someone with no nose? Nobody knows.

What do you call a girl between two posts? Annette.

What do you call a criminal going down the stairs? Condescending

What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two-tired.

What does a pirate pay for his corn? A buccaneer!

Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours. They decided to call it a day.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was so time consuming.

Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

I been watching a channel on TV that is strictly just about origami — of course it is paper-view.

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it