744 jokes found

Joke
What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone.
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How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.
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I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
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A beekeeper was indicted after he confessed to years of stealing at work. They charged him with emBEEzlement
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I used to work for a soft drink can crusher. It was soda pressing.
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Why did the chicken get a penalty? For fowl play.
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When Dad drops a pea off of his plate ‘oh dear I’ve pee’d on the table!
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My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
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Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall? To prove that he was framed!
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I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
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I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
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A dad washes his car with his son. But after a while, the son says, "why can't you just use a sponge?"
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Doctor you've got you help me, I'm addicted to twitter. Doctor: I don't follow you.
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My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home...
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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
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I broke my finger at work today, on the other hand I'm completely fine.
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I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
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How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints!
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What has ears but cannot hear? A field of corn.
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