549 jokes found

Joke
Without geometry life is pointless.
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“Hold on, I have something in my shoe”  “I’m pretty sure it’s a foot”
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Have you heard about the film "Constipation", you probably haven't because it's not out yet.
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I hate perforated lines, they're tearable.
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Why did the barber win the race? He took a short cut.
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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
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What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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"What time is it?" I don't know... it keeps changing.
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You can't trust a ladder. It will always let you down
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
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What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.
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My friend said to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "no it doesn't"
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I had a rough day, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary. It just goes from bad to worse.
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I adopted my dog from a blacksmith. As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.
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Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
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Some people say that comedians who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out, but they don't know watt they are talking about. They're not that bright.
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A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
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What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!
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What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
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What do you call an eagle who can play the piano? Talonted!
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